


a guide to love, loss and desperation

by neoragodestiny



Category: Super Junior-M, f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 21:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11975184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoragodestiny/pseuds/neoragodestiny
Summary: au. Based on this prompt: “My friend is so determined to fix me up with somebody better than my string of casual coffee date/hookup partners that I didn’t have the heart to tell her, after she set us up for a blind date, that I actually met you six months ago”





	a guide to love, loss and desperation

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this is late, but it was for rina’s bday <3 ty for everything bb you’re the bestestestest  
> pls excuse this clumsy, awkward ending, i didn’t know how to resolve this properly. also this didn't quite follow the prompt properly bc it was meant to be a 'pretend not to be dating' au but anyway  
> title is an album by the wombats  
> prompt is from [here](http://c-is-for-circinate.tumblr.com/post/125107660715/so-i-know-how-much-everybody-loves%20)

“Seriously, Amy, I don’t need - ” Amber stops when Amy puts her hands on hips and gives her what can only be described as a menacing glare.

“Amber Liu Yi Yun, you have hooked up with four different guys in three different clubs in the span of two days. It’s becoming ridiculous,” Amy says, sounding like a mother scolding a child.

Amber whines as she flops across the couch. “So what? It’s not like I want a relationship now anyway - ”

“Amber, you are so desperate for a relationship, you’re becoming delirious,” Amy deadpans. “So just go to this dinner, or I am not letting you back into this apartment tonight.”

“I have the key, you can’t lock me out,” Amber protests.

Amy gives her another look as she grabs her jacket. “Don’t try me, Amber,” she says. “I’m going now. Remember, the table is booked under Eric’s name, so they should lead you to the right table.”

“I still can’t believe you have set me up on a _blind date_ with one of _Eric’s friends_ ,” Amber cries, flailing about on the couch.

“Seven o’clock, Mrs Kwan’s kitchen~” Amy sing songs as she gets her keys and skips out the door.

Amber huffs as the door closes and folds her arms across her chest as she lies on her back. She won’t go. There’s no way she’s going to go on this stupid date, with one of stupid Eric’s stupid friends to eat stupid fancy food.

But as Amber glances at the clock - telling her she has fifteen minutes before she has to leave, if she does go - she thinks maybe, just maybe, Amy is right. (It burns her to admit)

Ever since her breakup seven months ago…..

Amber shakes her head. She can’t think about him anymore. She does know she’s been a mess since though, and this is Amy’s way of trying to help (even if Amber thoroughly disagrees with it)

Twelve minutes until she has to leave. Amber heaves heavy sigh. At least she’ll get nice food, she thinks, and maybe not even have to pay for it, if the guy believes in being gentlemanly and kind of sexist and paying for her meal. 

Grumbling the whole way, Amber goes to her room to find semi-nice clothes.

 

Amber feels incredibly underdressed. She turned up at the restaurant in her nice jeans and a top that she’s borrowed from Amy a couple of times before, but as she waits for someone to show her to a table, she can see that everyone here is in suits and ties, and dresses with heels. Amber scuffs her shoes against the wooden tiles. They look out of place too.

“Can I help you, miss?” someone asks. Amber offers a tense smile. At least they didn’t say ‘sir’.

“Uhm, booking under Eric Nam?” Amber asks, almost wishing for them to say there’s no booking, and she’s got the wrong place, and oh well, she can just go home and watch Netflix.

“This way, please,” Amber internally groans as she follows the person to the table.

When she realises it’s the one with the guy already sitting there, Amber feels herself tense up. She doesn’t remember how to ‘date’. She was with…. _him_ so long that it became almost natural - there was no flirting or awkwardness.

“Your table, miss,”

The guy looks up as the waiter speaks and Amber locks eyes with him for a moment. His hair is a brown that’s bordering on orange, but it doesn’t look weird, in fact it’s kind of familiar. He breaks into a bright smile and his eyes kind of disappear, and Amber finds it kind of cute. Oh.

“Hi, Amy’s friend, right? I’m Henry,” he says, offering a hand over the table.

Amber takes it, trying for a warm smile. “Amber,” she says.

They shake hands, Henry’s warm hand completely enveloping her hand that now seems small, before taking their seats. The waiter hands them menus and then leaves them.

“The bread is really good,” Henry says almost instantly, offering her the basket of baked goods.

“Oh,” Amber says dumbly, “uhm, thanks,” she says as she takes one.

Henry grins again and Amber’s heart flutters. Except she’s kind of sure she’s seen that smile before. She dismisses it. She’s met so many people at so many parties and clubs the last few months, he’s probably just reminding her of someone.

They both peruse the menu and tell the waiter their orders.

“So Henry, what do you do?” Amber asks as she puts her menu away

“Interior architecture formally, music stuff on the side,”

“Performing or creating?” Amber asks, intrigued. 

“Er, a bit of both?” Henry says, a little bashful. “I make music, but that’s more for myself. I DJ sometimes?”

“That’s pretty cool,” Amber murmurs. Her heart is trying to suppress all the butterflies. Why does Henry have to fit her idea of a perfect guy?

“So what about you?” Henry asks, offering her more bread.

Amber beams. A guy who doesn’t mind feeding her. Henry is doing amazing so far. She takes one happily. “I’m a dance teacher at the moment, but I’m trying to find a researcher position,”

“Researcher?”

Amber swallows her bread before continuing. “Yeah, I, uh, studied molecules and stuff, got my PHD last year,”

“Then why dance now?”

“Side job while I was in college, plus it’s fun,” Amber says through a mouthful of bread. She belatedly realises this is completely unladylike.

Henry smiles, not seeming to care. “That’s pretty cool.”

Amber coughs a little, embarrassed. “Uhm, thanks,”

She’s saved from further embarrassment by their food arriving. 

Conversation flows pretty easily over dinner and pretty soon they’re splitting the bill. Henry did offer to pay, but said he also didn’t want to hurt her pride. Amber had smiled, happy at the offer, but happier at the acknowledgement of letting a girl pay for her meal too.

After they’ve paid, they sit there a little longer, not wanting to leave.

It’s the nicest blind date Amber has ever been on, and judging by Henry’s smile and his smiles all through dinner, Henry at least didn’t mind her.

“I should really head home, but thank you. I had a really nice time tonight,” Amber says, getting to her feet.

Henry smiles warmly. “I did too. If… If I might be so bold as to ask if we could exchange numbers and maybe do this again?”

Amber smiles. “I would like that, yeah,” she says. They exchange phones and numbers.

As they step out of the restaurant, Amber turns to Henry with a smile. “You know, it’s kind of weird, but I actually felt like I’d met you before when I first saw you,”

Henry laughs. “It’s not weird, ‘cause I was thinking the same thing,” he says, “maybe we’ve been to the same party or something,” 

Amber nods, because that makes sense. “Well, Amy and Eric’s friend groups kind of mash together,”

“Maybe...do you know Ryeowook-hyung?” Henry asks, “Kind of short, high voice?”

Amber shakes her head. “Do you know James?”

“Oh! Yeah I’ve met James a couple of time,” Henry says. “Wait, no I think I know where I’ve met you before. Do you know Jackson?”

“Jackson Wang? How do you know that punk?” Amber asks and Henry laughs brightly.

“We were in the same school in Hong Kong for a couple of years,” Henry says. “You?”

“Kid works at the same dance studio I do,” Amber says, “He’s like a puppy, following me around everywhere,”

Henry laughs and Amber wishes her heart wasn’t doing backflips at the sound of it. “Then you would have been at the dance showcase,” he says. Amber nods.

“I didn’t perform though, I was working on my thesis before it so I couldn’t make enough practices,” Amber says.

“Maybe I saw you around there, or at the after party? Were you there?”

“Jackson would have dragged me kicking and screaming if I tried to skip,” Amber laughs. “We must have bumped into each other there,”

“I’m not sure, I was DJ-ing most of the night - a favour for Jackson - so I wasn’t mingling much,” Henry says.

“DJ-ing?” Amber asks, mouth falling open a little.

“Uh, yeah, I mentioned it earlier?” Henry says. Amber turns beetroot red. Henry looks at her worriedly. “Uhm, are you okay?”

“Do you… remember uhm, a girl asking you to dance halfway through?”

Henry looks at her quizzically. “Yeah, she was a friend of a friend I think and then when we - OH!”

And then they’ve both reached the same realisation.

That they hooked up at the dance showcase after party.

 

“Sooooooo,” Amy is on Amber as soon as she walks into the door. “How did it gooooo?”

“He’s nice. We got along fine,” Amber says.

“Cute, isn’t he? He’s totally your type,” Amy waggles eyebrows suggestively.

“Uh, yeah, but uhm, it’s not going to happen,” Amber says simply, walking into her room, closing the door.

“What?! Amber?! What happened? Was he being creepy? He’s flirty, but Henry’s a nice guy, I swear!”

Amber doesn’t answer, head in her hands as she sits on the edge of her bed.

She doesn’t know how to tell Amy how Henry is exactly her type, or that they had gotten along better than Amber ever has on any other date, or that they had actually hooked up six months ago, or that the moment had been so awkward after they both realised it that they had split without another word.

The problem, Amber realises, is that they had hooked up when Amber had been looking for anyone who would hold her and only look at her. She didn’t want Henry to know that, at that time, he had just been a rebound for a recently-broken-up-and-broken-hearted Amber. So now she doesn’t know if she can now look at him anew, when he reminds her of the mess she was back then (and kind of still is).

Amber just sighs, flops onto her back and closes her eyes.

 

Later that night, Amber has a toothbrush in her mouth, her hair pushed back messily with a headband after washing her face, and one pajama pant leg on, when her phone buzzes on her bedside table.

She puts on her pajama pants and reaches for her phone.

 

To: Amber  
From: sexy Henry ;)  
Hey. I know this might be out of line, but I really did enjoy myself tonight, and would still like a second date with you, if you’re up for it.

 

Amber scoffs as she sees the name he saved himself as. Of course he did. She reads the message again, hesitates and then types back a message.

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
Hey. I enjoyed myself too, but I’m not sure. You’re not bothered about the… stuff in the past?

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
I’m not. Are you? It doesn’t have to be an issue if you don’t want it to be. It just means that I liked you then, like I do now

 

Amber nearly throws her phone onto the bed, face flaming. Henry had _no chill_. Who said they liked someone after the first date?!

(Amber had done that for the last two boyfriends. But she digresses - she had been young and naive.) (She pretends she doesn’t find it incredibly sweet and endearing that Henry seems to be naive but charming.)

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
I don’t like who I was back then. I’d rather forget it happened and start anew.

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
Why not? You were very charming then.

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
I was very drunk, and very lonely. I had just been dumped then. I was not the best version of myself, still am not.

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
We’re not always the best versions of ourselves, that’s okay. You might not have liked yourself back then, but I did. I still do.

 

Amber sighs. She goes to rinse her mouth of toothpaste and finish washing her face, thoughts tumbling about in her head, totally mixed up.

When she returns, there’s another message from Henry.

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
You seem like an amazing person, Amber, and I’d like to get to know you better, if you’re willing to give me a chance.

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
Are you sure you want to take a chance with ME?

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
I have to take a chance or I’ll never know. I’d rather have my heartbroken than constantly ask what if. It’d be an honour to have my heart broken by you, anyway.

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
That’s a shit pickup line. Don’t jinx it.

 

To: Amber  
From: Henry  
But it worked, didn’t it? :P So? What do you say? Another date? It doesn’t have to go anywhere from there if you don’t want it to

 

Amber sighs. Henry was right. It didn’t have to go anywhere after that if they didn’t want to, but she kind of wanted it to. And it seemed, Henry did too.

Was this really okay? Could she really go on another date with a blind date, who she hooked up with six months ago?

 

To: Henry  
From: Amber  
Ok, but I ate too much bread this time. Can we get Asian this time?

 

To: pretty Amber <3  
From: Henry  
:D I know the BEST ramen place

 

To: charming Henry  
From: Amber  
If it isn’t the best ramen, you have to buy me boba

 

To: pretty Amber <3  
From: Henry  
If it is, I get a kiss :3

 

Amber drops her phone on the bed, face flaming. Henry definitely had no restraint. (Why oh why did she find it both infuriating and cute that he was so transparent about his feelings?)

Amber picks up her phone and stares at the message again. If Henry was going to be like this, then Amber wasn’t going to let him win - two could play at this game.

 

To: charming Henry  
From: Amber  
You already got several, six months ago

 

To: pretty Amber <3  
From: Henry  
:c that was six months ago, c’mon Amber :c

 

Amber smiles.

 

To: charming Henry  
From: Amber  
Maybe, it depends how good the ramen is.

 

To: pretty Amber <3  
From: Henry  
It’ll be the best you’ve had. Promise. Friday? 7pm?

 

To: charming Henry  
From: Amber  
I get boba if it isn’t. Sure, sounds good. I have an earlier class tomorrow, so I gotta sleep now. Night, Henry.

 

To: pretty Amber <3  
From: Henry  
I get a kiss if it is ;) I’ll text you the address tomorrow. Goodnight, Amber! Sweet dreams~!

 

(They get ramen, Henry has to buy Amber boba (even though it _is_ the best ramen she’s had, she won’t admit it), but Amber gives him his kiss when they say goodnight anyway.)


End file.
